Not what I was expecting
Updated: Sep 9, 2019
I am a healthy person, so how'd I get here?
When talking with our artists, we get a glimpse of the trials they have gone through, the abandonment, and the strength they found deep within.
I grew up in a healthy home.
I am a healthy person. I am strong because I grew up in a healthy home. My parents loved me, and they taught me good health discipline.
When I got married things were difficult, but I was pushing through because I wasn't going to give up on us. We got pregnant with our child and, at first, my pregnancy was amazing! I felt great! But as I got further along in my pregnancy, I was no longer "ok", as some pregnancies tend to feel.
It was around this time that I began to hear the words, "you are lazy", from my husband. I did my best to brush these words off, over and over.
I went into the hospital for an appointment and they began a medical procedure on me, but I had no idea what was going on. The doctor then told me I was going to have my baby, which was a big surprise.
"But I wasn't even dilated yet."
"I still had many weeks left."
I was so confused.
The doctors gave me something to start my contractions. (There are stories written about this "medicine" which has killed mother's and their babies Born in the USA https://www.amazon.com/Born-USA-Broken-Maternity-Children/dp/0520256336 )
Hours and hours went by and I was so uncomfortable, an unnatural discomfort.
I asked my husband to help me. He was short with me and responded back with, "I can't, I have to work tomorrow. Please be quiet."
I was all by myself...
It was time
Her first moments in this world were without life
I went through a horrible birth that brought my daughter her first moments in this world without breath or life. The hospital staff revived her, and the next couple of months were the most depressing time in my life.
One day, while my baby girl was still in the NICU, and my depression was extremely high, my husband said to me, "you're a wimp".
I was crushed. I already felt like a failure. I couldn't protect my baby, I couldn't take care of my baby...or so I believed.
Truth came to me
Years down the road, I learned these were lies. I learned that I needed help, and that my husband abandoned me when I needed him most. I learned that I am strong and healthy and capable. My sweet, beautiful daughter is grown, and now has her own family. I am the healthy strong person I was growing up, just a little wiser.
This is a story duplicated by too many women today. We are worth taking care of. We are worth providing for. We are worth giving everything for. This woman was trying her best, and in the end, she was already "the Everything." She just didn't know it yet. She soon found truth just like you will, if you are in this situation. You deserve to be talked to with respect and honor. You are not lazy. You are not crazy. You are an amazing princess. Don't accept anything less.